Holding steady

Today was another birthday celebration at work. Why we had another, separate one after having the big April blowout two weeks ago is beyond me, but at least there was less food this time. A little less.

I had forgotten about the e-mail that went out yesterday (“Tomorrow is Stephanie’s birthday. We’re getting a cake. If anyone wants to bring other snacks …”), so I walked in unawares this morning. The snacks immediately tried to strike up a conversation: Surprise! Lots of food here! Calling your name! Your specific name, specifically and loudly!

But I was strong. I went straight through the department, past The Cake, the tortilla chips, cheese dip, salsa (at least it wasn’t Karen’s homemade salsa this time), the brownie bites and on and on … and into my office. I turned on my computer while telling myself and my officemate, “I’m not going to eat any of that today, especially after all I ate two weeks ago.”

Then I went back out to go to the bathroom. More food had appeared. That’s when I saw (cue the Jaws music, or the Psycho music) … the fudge-filled Oreos.

I had never seen, much less tasted, a fudge-filled Oreo. And, oh, if you knew how much I loooove Oreos. Well, you can probably imagine. And these were FILLED WITH FUDGE. Fudge. Filled. Oreos.

But I walked past them and never looked back (well, I think I looked, maybe one more time, at the Oreos – in their lovely little blue package. Filled with fudge). I used the facilities, returned to my office and ignored the junk food – all day.

Aren’t we proud of me?

Here’s what I did eat today:

Breakfast:

  • Coffee with fat-free hazelnut creamer.
  • Bran flakes with skim milk.

Midmorning:

  • Another cup of coffee at work, with hazelnut creamer (has fat – I’m still trying to teach my errand boy [Bruce] how to read nutrition labels – he saw “no saturated fat” and thought it meant “no fat at all”; the skinny boy is new at this).
  • 1 large grapefruit.

Lunch:

  • Sonic grilled chicken wrap and Route 44 unsweetened tea. (I finally made it to the grocery store at lunch, plus I didn’t have time to make a sandwich this morning, hence the drive-through lunch again.)

Midafternoon:

  • 1.4 ounces Hershey’s Extra Dark chocolate. (Who needs a stinkin’ fudge-filled Oreo when you’ve got extra-dark chocolate? Not me!)

Dinner:

  • Turkey sandwich with low-fat cheese, spicy mustard, pickles and red onion.
  • Green tea with lemon and a bit of apple cider vinegar (story for another post).

At 12:30 p.m., about an hour before I left for my lunch break, I wrote this: “IT’S OK TO BE HUNGRY!” This was in response to the bounty of junk food outside my door and to the rumbly in my tumbly (as Tigger would say). But I didn’t give in.

The trick, I have discovered over the years – even though I haven’t been successful at convincing my stomach of it – is that it’s all in your head. Well, it’s mostly in your head. Hunger pangs are often legitimate, but much of the time, for a food addict, they are a figment of the imagination. That’s one reason I think diet drugs will never be successful. For many of us, we don’t eat because we’re hungry; we eat to fill another kind of void: loneliness, sadness, anger, fatigue, depression – a hole that only God can fill.

Tomorrow I will run for the first time in nine days. For various reasons (fighting off the insanity pod being one of them), I haven’t been with the running clinic since last Tuesday. I look forward to being out there tomorrow, humidity pods aside (Oh, Lord, can’t you just put the humidity pods aside this summer?).

Did I just say I’m looking forward to running in the humidity tomorrow? This, in itself, is a sign of insanity.

Hey, chefs: Do you have a good recipe that disguises the taste of cooked spinach? If so, please share.

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