‘I could never do that’

This is the first time I’ve been brave enough to publish my “before” picture. Bruce took it 4 years ago. Photo on right courtesy of Hatch and Maas Photography.

I’ve been given an opportunity that I’ve been praying for a lot lately: the chance to tell my story to a bigger audience. (My blog has, like, three readers: my mom, my husband and our dog Salsa; the other dog can’t read.)

My hope is that my story, told from my unique perspective, will influence change – in my family, my workplace, even my community. I’ve written for about three years in this space about my “journey to fitness,” hoping to encourage those who need hope, those who think changing your life is only for a certain type of person.

The trouble with that line of thinking is that I believe there’s always hope, that determination (and a lot of prayer) can get you to a better place – if you want it badly enough. If you’re willing to put in the hours, the sweat, the mental energy, the sticktoitiveness to see it through, you can do it even if you’re “nobody special.”

You see, I’m nobody special – I’m just a girl who believes in prayer and hard work.

The problem with a lot of us (with me for so many years) is that we give up too easily.

We look at this marathon as a sprint, and if we don’t see results right away – or if we take a couple of steps forward and end up a step or two backward – we think we will never get it right. We’ll never reach our goals. Or maybe we stop setting goals in the first place.

We let the naysayers fill our heads with nonsense, and we start believing it: It’s too hard, I tried that and it didn’t work. It will never happen – I’m giving up. I could never do that.

One thing I’ve learned about myself over the years is that I’m pretty stubborn. (It’s one of those good/bad things I inherited from my dad.) And, despite many attempts to change that ended in failure, I’m still standing. I’m still pushing. Still learning.

And I’m stronger than ever.

And because I’ve learned some lessons the hard way, I want to pass it on, maybe make someone else’s journey a little easier. Help someone know she’s not alone, that there is hope.

By the grace of God, heartfelt prayer, and much two-steps-forward, one-step-back-ing, I’ve lost about 50 pounds in the past three years. (According to my cardiologist, I need to lose a few more, but we’ll get to that.) It took maybe two of those years to lose the bulk of it (plus I’ve gained 7 back since heart surgery), and I’ve said here before that if it takes the rest of my life to get it all off, it’s worth it if I help someone else find hope and encouragement.

And my mantra – as a runner who will never be at the head of the pack no matter how much I want it – is, “Slow and steady wins the race.” (That may apply more to weight loss than it does to running footraces, but you get the point.)

Another thing I believe to my very core is that we learn – God grows our character the most – amid difficulty. We tend to forget about God during the easy times; we don’t rely on His wisdom and guidance when we’re cruising along through life thinking everything’s great because we’re great!

We learn the best lessons through challenges. And we lose weight and keep it off when we do it slowly and thoughtfully, when we learn why we turn to food when we shouldn’t. Sometimes I’ve had to learn the same lesson over and over, until I really got it. I’m still learning.

I’ve had what you might call challenges in the past three years, including heart surgery five months ago. But out of that particular challenge came a great opportunity:

I got to tell my story in a TV commercial that has been airing all across Arkansas since the Super Bowl, has aired during the Olympics, and will air for the next two years.

When I was asked to do it, someone mentioned that it would be scary to be interviewed on camera. My response: all the more reason to do it! It was so far outside my comfort zone, I knew it would be a new opportunity for growth – to depend on the Lord for my strength.

For a couple of years, I’ve been praying for opportunities to improve my very weak public-speaking skills. I didn’t know exactly why I was praying that, except that I wanted to be available – and not embarrass my family or die of fright – when those rare opportunities arose.

So maybe the interview segment of the TV commercial wasn’t my favorite part (the running part was much more fun and comfortable) but maybe my prayers made me just a little less fearful – bold, even – knowing that my desire was to bring glory to God through it all, and perhaps encourage someone along the way. Guys from the TV crew actually told me I inspired them. Go figure.

I started 2013 (a few weeks after I turned 50) with the goal of “getting to know God better,” deciding not to jump ahead of Him in figuring out the details of the next phase of my life.

I knew what I wanted to do – still want to do – and that may happen some day. My desire is to implement a healthy-workplace initiative at my place of employment. My CEO is open to that (we’ve talked), but I’m not sure he realizes all I have in mind! (I’ve learned to dream big.)

For starters, I recently registered (on my own, not through my job) to become a certified wellness coach. I’m taking online courses and will travel to Colorado in a couple of months for on-site training,

I’m not sure where this journey will take me, but I believe God put the desire in my heart and that He will bless it.

Meanwhile, Channel 7 in Little Rock (ABC affiliate) has invited me to appear on “Good Morning, Arkansas” on Feb. 17 as part of its coverage of Heart Month. My cardiologist, Dr. Conley, will be by my side if his schedule permits. I so hope he can, because he’s a big part of where I am right now.

I can tell you the exact date that I began my “journey to fitness” in earnest: April 5, 2011 – the birthday of our CEO. We had potluck that day, and I ate like a pig. By the end of the day, I was disgusted with myself, I wrote my “Going public” post, and things began to change.

It was embarrassing to admit on the Internet that I weighed 201 pounds (5 pounds less than my highest) and that I had been making a fool of myself with food. But if pigging out was what it took to make me wake up and smell the bacon, it was worth it.

I want to help others by telling my story. Some won’t like it, won’t agree with it, won’t see it. They’ll think I’m being egotistical. I can’t help what people think.

But should I let the Negative Nellies keep me from trying to help someone else?

I could never do that.


To find a Women Run Arkansas running and walking clinic near you, click here.

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12 thoughts on “‘I could never do that’

  • Monday, February 10, 2014 at 7:21 pm

    You have more than three readers! I may not drop by every day – or even every week, but I keep up with ya! Love your story! Running is so hard for me – exercise asthma is my main problem (well, other than laziness!) – even with meds, I still wheeze…no fun! But love hearing about friends that do! Keep up the hard work!

  • Monday, February 10, 2014 at 7:32 pm

    Thanks! I’m sporadic with your blog and FB, too, but it’s nice to have those ways to keep in touch when otherwise we’d be in the dark!

    I have lung issues when I run, but that has gotten better as I’ve shed pounds. It’s one reason I’ll never be super-fast, though.

    You have three kids to keep up with – that’s a bigger job than running a few times a week!

  • Wednesday, February 12, 2014 at 10:29 pm

    Great to see this Suzy! I didn’t know you had a blog. I have been seeing you in the commercials and remember when I saw you last year at the Insell memorial. You look great and you are inspiring!


  • Wednesday, February 12, 2014 at 10:52 pm

    Love it Suzy. Thank you. Vicki

  • Thursday, February 13, 2014 at 6:53 am

    Thanks, Todd! It was great to see you, Tim and your mom at Charles’ memorial service. Your dad and I were Facebook friends. I wish we could have been at his service last spring, but Bruce’s mom died the day after your dad.

  • Thursday, February 13, 2014 at 6:53 am

    Vicki, you don’t know how long I’ve been trying to talk myself into sharing the “before” picture. 🙂

  • Monday, February 17, 2014 at 8:31 pm

    Thank you for allowing me to be w/ you today! You”re amazing and an inspiration to us all! I’m honored to be ur cardiologist.

  • Tuesday, February 18, 2014 at 6:08 am

    I was so glad you could be there. I was less nervous with you by my side. Bruce and I are so grateful that you’ve taken such great care of me over the years. We love you!

  • Sunday, February 22, 2015 at 8:27 pm

    Thank you for sharing your story. By sharing your strength it helps us all grow stronger!
    Brava to you!

  • Sunday, February 22, 2015 at 8:58 pm

    Thank YOU, Joyce, for the encouraging words. It was tough to post that picture, but I believe that being “authentic” helps people see that anyone can do it! (And “it” can run the gamut.)

  • Sunday, February 22, 2015 at 8:59 pm

    Diamonds are built under pressure…and you are shining with your own light.
    I’ve shared my before pictures with a low carb group, not quite sure if I’m ready to go public especially since I’m only halfway there.
    You keep on keeping on. You ROCK

  • Sunday, February 22, 2015 at 9:22 pm

    It took me YEARS to be ready to post that pic. Thanks for the positive words and the compliments. I think you rock, too, my friend!

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